Delightful.

Dan Savage wrote a nice response to a poor putz with an impossible fantasy in this week’s column that reminded me of a group of “others” I’d been keeping in my back pocket for discussion.

One group is the squeeze fetishists. Mostly, it’s the imagery that intrigues me, not so much the Freudian symbolism or childhood traumas. The pressing need to see this fantasy has produced “Squeeze Girl,” a massive flikr set . This image from the set was particularly enthralling. I appreciate the attention to detail in the illustration of the great velocity with which that stream of feces is being projected.

That these pictures are badly photoshopped but sufficient for their ends is akin to the old squinting at dicey cable channels on the TV as a kid to hopefully catch a nipple in the static. When that’s what you have, that’ll do. I really like the idea of these guys, totally flaccid, pouring over the vast sea of pornography the internet has on offer simply to find images that would work as composites for the squeeze boners to come. All the fetishes with massive amounts of prep time knock me out.

Another impossible to realize fetish is the love for giantesses. Salon has a good article on macrophilia here. Long ago I’d seen Giantess.net, which collects images from everywhere that portrays a giant woman cruising through diminutive lands. Additionally, I remember as a kid seeing the updated 1993 version of “Attack of the 50 Foot Woman,” with Daryl Hannah.

One scene in the movie has Ms. Hannah trying to romance her husband, in an attempt to return to normalcy, while drinking wine out of an oil barrel. Her husband, Daniel Baldwin, rebuffs her by saying, “what did you expect me to do? Get a wet suit and a flash light?” And that is exactly what I was envisioning the mechanics to be! Maybe sticking the legs in and scissor kicking…oh boy.

Do you think Alice in Wonderland was a common first wet dream for this nascent fetish?

VIA Squeezegirl and Attack of the 50 Foot Woman.